The other day I was at the nail salon when the nail tech asked me if I was wearing a wig. In which I replied, “no.” I swear not a week goes by that someone asks me if I’m wearing a wig. And most of the time it’s by my own people. Next she asked if that was all my hair. In which I replied, “yes.” Then she reaches out and touches my hair while asking if she could touch it. Excuse me? You have had your hands all up in acetone and haven’t left the station to wash your hands but now you are touching my hair. Where do people get off touching my hair without asking first? Or in her case, asking in the moment.
I know there was a ‘You Can Touch My Hair’ documentary not too long ago where natural haired women stood in the middle of Union Square letting complete strangers touch their hair. No sir, no ma’am, no way! I’m not letting folks put their grubby paws in my hair. It’s just not happening. Try it and you may draw back a nub. Now the only reason the nail lady still has all her fingers is because my nails were drying and I didn’t want to mess them up. But I did jerk my head back.
Never in my life have I had the desire to touch anyone’s hair. Never! I’m very funny about my personal space though. If I’m out dancing with a guy that I don’t know, I don’t like him invading my personal space. There is no need for him to dance all up on me. We not cool like that. I don’t know you from a can of paint.
I sort of feel like a zoo animal when people ask to touch my hair. And I’m not a petting zoo. Why does anyone feel the need to touch it anyway? Please don’t use me as some cultural learning experiment. How often do people walk up to a someone with straight hair and ask to touch it? If someone wants to know what natural hair feels like, they should go to the nearest beauty supply store (BSS) and ask to touch a sample.
Wearing | H&M Boyfriend Sweater | Vintage Boy Beater | J.C. Penney Leggings | Steve Madden Leather Boots
I had a guy friend who was at the airport once when a lady came up to him and started touching his dreadlocks. She didn’t ask. She just started feeling his hair. What did he do? Well, he started petting her hair too. Then she realized how silly she looked and apologized. That was the best response I have ever heard to strangers touching a black person’s hair.
Next time someone wants to touch my hair, I’m singing this song!
I’m kidding. But at the end of the day it’s about personal space. You wouldn’t touch a pregnant woman’s belly without permission would you?
How do you handle strangers touching your hair? Or do you not mind it?
11 comments
She’s brave to have actually reached out to touch your hair before she got an answer.
Who are you telling?! Some people are so rude.
Bwahaha!!! Girl you encounter a lot of funny stuff. I do NOT like it when people touch my hair and everyone does ask if I have a wig or a weave lol. I went to Playa Del Carmen, MX this past Nov, and about 3 women decided they wanted to play in my crop. *slow blinks* like really?! They couldn’t believe it was my hair. I attributed them just not seeking black folks all the time but damn do people really need to treat us like our hair is the 10th wonder of the world?
Travelling abroad always brings out curious folks. When I was in Europe had a lady who wanted to take a picture with me. It didn’t dawn on me later that she probably wanted to take a picture of me because I am black. Womp!
LOL! This is funny. I have had people try to touch my (real) hair, my wig and my braids. Very annoying! I’m not a hair toucher or a face toucher – those 2 things are pet peeves for sure. I’m a hugger but after we hug, it’s back to your respected corner. Thanks!
P.S. Love the sweater!
~Whitney
http://www.whitneynicjames.com
I’m a hugger too. That’s just exchanging pleasantries. And 9 times out of 10 you know the person you are hugging.
You definitely hit the nail on the head!!! I have no clue what the obsession is with touching natural hair. I get it all the time too along with is it yours.. Great blog!!!
Thanks for stopping by. I always thought it was tacky to ask those sort of questions. What would Emily Post say?
Hilarious! Surprisingly, I have never had someone ask to touch my hair. I have been asked though if my hair is wig or even harassed that I had chemicals in my hair to make it curl. *side eye* Now my mom has shared that people have touched her hair. She’s natural as well. I just find it disgusting. I do not know where your hands have been. I appreciate that you admire my hair, but no, you are not allowed to touch it. Btw, love the sweater! 🙂
Folks are always asking what do I put in my hair. People swear I’m using some magical chemical. I’m always surprised. And they always ask on my bad hair days. Go figure.